Note to the furry babies...

I love you dearly. I love the softness of your fur. I love the delicious smell you generate after a nap. I love how you are both always so giving of your bellies and heads for a good rubbing. I love how we cuddle on the couch and in the bed. I love how you are always supportive of taking a nap. I love the way you greet me when I return home or even just return to the room.

But this is MY heating pad.

Not yours.

I am the one growing life and therefore will be using the wondrous, warmth-generating device to soothe tight muscles.

Your muscles cannot possibly be in need of the heating pad. You don't work for a living, you don't have to do chores. You sleep most of the day. On the couch, on our bed, on one of the two lambskin beds available to you, on one of three blankets you have claimed for your own.

So I feel comfortable saying - again - that the heating pad is mine.

Just to reiterate, these are the ground rules as they pertain to the heating pad:

• You may not evict me from the heating pad just because you think it's your turn to lay on it.
• Getting up to go to the bathroom or refilling my drink does not mean I have forfeited my right to the heating pad.
• Briefly sitting at the edge of the couch, and therefore slightly away from the heating pad, does not mean you should insert yourself between me and the heating pad.
• You may not wrestle one another for use of the heating pad.
• Groaning as I pull the heating pad out from under you is just bad form. As is sulking because I reclaimed the heating pad.

Concerns or objections about the heating pad policy should be directed to your union representative. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.

Thank you,

Management