But this is MY heating pad.
I am the one growing life and therefore will be using the wondrous, warmth-generating device to soothe tight muscles.
Your muscles cannot possibly be in need of the heating pad. You don't work for a living, you don't have to do chores. You sleep most of the day. On the couch, on our bed, on one of the two lambskin beds available to you, on one of three blankets you have claimed for your own.
So I feel comfortable saying - again - that the heating pad is mine.
Just to reiterate, these are the ground rules as they pertain to the heating pad:
- You may not evict me from the heating pad just because you think it's your turn to lay on it.
- Getting up to go to the bathroom or refilling my drink does not mean I have forfeited my right to the heating pad.
- Briefly sitting at the edge of the couch, and therefore slightly away from the heating pad, does not mean you should insert yourself between me and the heating pad.
- You may not wrestle one another for use of the heating pad.
- Groaning as I pull the heating pad out from under you is just bad form. As is sulking because I reclaimed the heating pad.
Concerns or objections about the heating pad policy should be directed to your union representative. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.